


Tomo, the Great Detective

by burnedlilly



Category: Azumanga Daioh
Genre: Other, WTF am I reading, blood and death mention but not real, just really stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29012577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnedlilly/pseuds/burnedlilly
Summary: There's an assassin in town. What should the Great Detective Tomo do? How will she solve the crime?|crack fic|
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Tomo, the Great Detective

**Author's Note:**

> just a disclaimer, i didn't read or watched azudai with eng subs or dubs, so im not really sure of how osaka speaks, since i read some fics with her speaking in a different way, so just ignore this, please | please mention typos if you spot them, im really sleepy, but wanted to publish this today

A pitch dark Wednesday night. Storm. A motivated assassin. That woman have been preparing herself for a long timd, until that d-day finally came.  
Mr. Kimura, her ex-teacher, walks out of a convenience store, slowly and carelessly. She thinks "it's now or never", hiding behind a bush. He's soon surprised by someone pushing him into the green, covering his mouth.   
No stories or amazing words needed: the knife was already twisting him. She quickly take another one and cuts his throat.   
The body was left there for three days, until one of the employees noticed a nasty smell and immediately calls the police.  
"Congratulations on calling the police, Mrs. Kagura. You actually have a brain and not just boobs."  
"T-thanks..."  
"Now, we need to interrogate you, so we can start our investigation, while they analyze his body."  
"Here it is, Ms. Tomo."  
"Oh, how fast. Thank you, Sakaki. Let's see... according to the autopsy... he's really dead." She turns herself back to Kagura. "What were you doing when he died?"  
"Well, it wasn't me at that day, I only work in the morning and afternoon, someone else was there at night."  
"Do you have names?"  
"I don't... really know them... I started working there two weeks ago and we don't tend to talk to each other."   
"I HAVE WITNESSED SOMETHING EVIL!" A scream breaks into the room.  
"Yes...?"  
"I am Kasuga Ayumu! And I've seen someone kill a poor man!"  
"That's what we need! Tell us what you've seen!"  
"Someone killing a man. That one in the picture." She points to the board, with Kimura's photo pinned on it.  
"Is there any other information you can share?"  
"Not at a-." Interrupting her, Tomo receives a call: "I... I know something about the case you're working on."  
"May I have your name, Ma'am?"  
"It won't be shared, right?"   
"I think so. Will it, Sakaki?"  
"No." She speaks so low that almost whispers.   
"Mizuhara Koyomi... I've seen the news... there's someone I think that's suspicious. My neighbor wasn't home at night, three days ago. She's not currently working and attends to college in the morning." Yomi checks her surroundings before finishing it. "And she has acting weird for a long time. It's scary. That day, she left home with a backpack."  
"Do you remember the color?" Says, while taking notes.  
"Black... and green. Neon green."  
"So ugly, what the fuck. Anyways, thank you, young lady. What's her name?"  
"I only know her first name, Kaori. My address is [...] and the number of her house is [...]. I hope that this will be solved soon."  
"Me too, I'm tired of working. Call us again if you know anything else."  
"Right."  
"Ms. Tomo..."  
"Yes, Sakaki?" She shows a piece of neon green fabric. That's the key.  
Tomo with her crew soon head to the address given by Yomi, bringing Kaori for an "interrogation".  
[Meanwhile...]  
"Can we get coffee or something?" Kagura says.  
"It would be good." Osaka replies.  
"Please wait." Sakaki answers, soon leaving the room.  
"The coffee. Not something." Osaka says.  
"Yeah, I get i—"  
"It could be something as well. But would it be good? Who's the murder, Kagura? Couldn't it be you? Me? Or someone else? Or just... something?" There's a scary look in her eyes, but Kagura's attention is soon towards a woman, handcuffed, screaming.  
[...]  
"NOW!" Tomo throws a white light to Kaori's face. "Was it you?"  
Biting her lips in anger, replies: "YES! IT WAS! And well deserven! He has been creeping me out for ages, I just had to end it for once and all!"  
"Yaaaaay!" Tomo happy skips. "We found it, we found it! It's heeeer!" She recieves praises from all of the crew. Kaori is now in jail, paying for her crime.  
"Can I get a sign?", "Can we go on a date, amazing Ms. Tomo?", that's what she has been hearing all of the time, with her face printed on the most important Japanese and International newspapers, and all over the web.

"So, that's basically what I want to be in the future." Tomo says, as the others (mainly Kaori) look at her, terrified.  
"I'm surely going to be the murder, wait for it." Kaori leaves the room, slowly and in a scary face.   
"I should have seen it coming." Yomi says, depressed.  
A "..." from Sakaki.  
"I... don't really have good thoughts on this, but something bothered me on this story." Everyone looks at Kagura. "Where's Chiyo-chan in all of that time?"  
"OH THAT'S THE THING BOTHERING YOU, KAGURA?" Kaori screams from the other room.  
"Probably in Ameri—" Tomo is interrupted.  
"Dead." Osaka says.  
"But who killed her? That's another mystery for the great detective Tomo!"  
"I did."  
"You guys creep me out." Yomi also leaves the room.  
"W-why... why did I have to do the autopsy." Sakaki cries.   
"Isn't it like the same thing of being a veterinarian or what?"   
Before Sakaki could reply: "Bang!" Osaka points her 'gun' at Tomo.  
"Ha! It's gonna be hard to kill me, Osaka!"  
"I have a machine gun, Tomo." She starts repeating bullet firing sounds. "And I lied, sniper Chiyo is waiting for you from America!"  
"I-isn't it way too far?"  
"She has good aim."

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry to say this, but i had fun writing this crap lol


End file.
